My son is moving out. I’m happy for him but I’m bereft. How can I stop feeling so terrible? | Leading questions

It’s OK to feel the loss, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. The fact that you do shows the devotion and care you’re capable of

My son is moving out. I’m happy for him but I’m bereft. I know “empty nest” is a cliche but it’s out of control and it’s ruining my relationship with him. It feels like grief. I’m tearful all the time. I can’t bear to look at old photos of us. I feel awkward around him, like I’m looking for the old connection when he was little that he’s rightly moved on from.

I wasn’t a happy person before him and without him I’m afraid I’ll go back to how I was. My partner is supportive but I hide how much I’m obsessing about this because there’s only so many times she can sit through my sobbing. He’s still present and wonderful; he needs to go and live his life and I know he’ll come back. How can I stop feeling so terrible about a thing that I know is good and right and natural?